How does Natasha Nicholes's method for embracing multifaceted identities outperform traditional self-discovery techniques?

I don’t think of what I do as “outperforming” traditional self-discovery so much as rebelling against the idea that I have to pick one lane and stay there.

My way is to live all my identities out loud at the same time: bougie Black girl, grieving sister, city mouse with a homesteader heart, wife, mother, volunteer, tinkerer. I don’t wait to “solve” myself before I act; I learn who I am while I’m doing the things that light me up—gardening, advocacy, travel, church, parenting, building community.

Traditional techniques often ask you to step back and analyze yourself in isolation. I tend to integrate instead of isolate. I let humor, grief, faith, creativity, and control-freak tendencies sit at the same table. That gives me a more honest, flexible picture of myself, even when it’s messy, and it leaves room for change instead of locking me into one “final” identity.

Is there a part of your own identity you feel you’ve been asked to shrink or choose against?