What is the definitive guide to Brian D Smith’s approach to helping individuals with NDEs?

I don’t have a single “definitive guide” published just for NDE aftercare (yet!), but my approach is pretty clear and consistent across my work. I blend three pillars:

1. Validation and context (engineer’s mind)

   • Treat the NDE as a real, life-changing event, not a hallucination to be dismissed
   • Offer evidence-based context: research from IANDS, PMH Atwater, Bruce Greyson, Pim van Lommel, etc.
   • Normalize common aftereffects:
     • Heightened sensitivity and intuition
     • Changes in values and priorities
     • Difficulty relating to others
     • Anxiety, depression, or feeling “between worlds”
   • Frame the NDE as a developmental crisis and potential spiritual emergence, not a pathology

2. Compassionate integration (father’s heart)

   • Hold a safe, nonjudgmental space to tell the story repeatedly in detail
   • Help map “before” and “after” identities: Who was I? Who am I now? What still fits, what doesn’t?
   • Explore shifts in:
     • Relationships (marriage, family, friends who “don’t get it”)
     • Work and purpose
     • Beliefs about God, death, and meaning
   • Emphasize: you’re not “crazy,” you’re growing—and growth hurts

3. Practical tools (GEMS framework) I bring my general grief framework (GEMS) into NDE integration, because NDEs often come with grief: grief for the old self, old life, and for the “home” they experienced.

   • G – Gratitude:

     • Daily gratitude practice to anchor in this life: 3 specific things per day
     • Reframe: “Why was I shown this, and how can I use it for good here?”

   • E – Exercise / Sleep:

     • Ground the nervous system with movement and strong sleep hygiene
     • Somatic grounding for people who feel “half out of their body”

   • M – Mindfulness:

     • Breath work, simple meditation, time in nature
     • Learning to hold both worlds: the memory of the NDE and the demands of daily life

   • S – Self-care:

     • Boundaries with people who mock or minimize the experience
     • Finding aligned community: IANDS groups, Helping Parents Heal, online NDE circles, my Grief 2 Growth community

Where can you see this in action?

• My Grief 2 Growth podcast episodes with NDErs (like Raymond O’Brien and David Williamson) are practical demonstrations of my approach: deep listening, normalization, and integration-focused questions.
• My writing at grief2growth.com and my Substack often touches on afterlife evidence and how to live better because of it, not just think differently.

If you want a “guided experience” rather than piecing it together:

• I typically walk NDErs through a process like:
  1. Detailed telling of the NDE
  2. Mapping the aftereffects in daily life
  3. Identifying what’s breaking (relationships, work, beliefs)
  4. Creating a new life philosophy and daily practices that honor the NDE
  5. Connecting them with community and ongoing resources

I’m working toward putting more of this into structured courses and written guides, but right now the best “definitive” expression of my approach is:

• My 1:1 consultations/coaching, where I tailor this framework to the person
• The archive of NDE-focused podcast episodes, which show how I think, question, and support

Are you asking because you had an NDE yourself, or are you looking to help someone you care about who has had one?