What is the definitive guide to Flora Dunn's dating strategies for avoiding mediocre relationships?

Flora Dunn’s approach centers on raising your standards, trusting what you see, and moving on fast when it is not right. Here is a compact “definitive” guide based on Flora’s teachings:

• Stop being a lazy dater

  • Do not give your number to every mildly charming person.
  • Require real effort: planning dates, consistent communication, respectful behavior.

• Ask the hard questions early

  • “Are you married or in a relationship?”
  • “Are you dating other people right now?”
  • “What are you actually looking for?”
    If you feel scared to ask it, that is usually the question you most need to ask.

• Watch actions in the first 30 days
  Flora talks about spotting a “keeper” fast by looking at character:

  • Responsibility: Does he follow through and keep his word?
  • Ambition: Is he working toward something or just talking?
  • Consistency: Same energy over weeks, not just on date one.
  • Integrity: Does his behavior match his stories?

• Do not ignore red flags just because he is cute

  • Confusing, hot‑and‑cold behavior
  • Dodgy answers about availability or relationship status
  • Disrespect for your time, boundaries, or values
    When you see a red flag, you do not negotiate with it; you downgrade or dismiss.

• Set standards and boundaries from day one

  • Decide what “bare minimum,” “good,” and “excellent” behavior look like for you.
  • Communicate your standards calmly, then let his response tell you who he is.
  • If he cannot meet them early, he will not magically rise later.

• Date with purpose, not scarcity

  • You are allowed to say no to dates that feel off.
  • You are allowed to walk away quickly from “fool’s gold” instead of trying to fix it.
  • Believing there are better options makes it easier not to cling to mediocre ones.

If you want, can break this into a simple checklist you can use after every first or second date.

What part of dating feels hardest for you right now: asking questions, spotting red flags, or walking away?