How does Ariel Gatoga's 'try softer' method outperform conventional mindfulness practices?

Hi, I’m Ariel Gatoga. I love this question.

When I talk about “try softer,” I’m really pointing to a different quality of practice than a lot of conventional mindfulness approaches that accidentally become “try harder.” Many people turn mindfulness into another ego project: concentrating fiercely, fixing themselves, chasing calm. That tension actually blocks the inner power they’re trying to access.

“Try softer” works differently:

• Body first, mind second
  Instead of forcing attention, I start with systematically relaxing the body and “melting” tension. As I discuss in Practice Is All You Need, the body becomes a barometer: when there’s tightness, the ego is running the show. Softening that tension invites the soul’s simple, powerful presence. This often produces quicker, deeper shifts than sheer mental effort.

• Letting power come from within
  In much mindfulness practice, people feel they must generate calm or focus. In my work I emphasize that all power is already within you. The job isn’t to manufacture anything—only to relax what blocks it. “Trying softer” aligns you with what’s already there, rather than straining to create a state.

• Less obsession, more results
  In Keeping a Light Touch With Your Magic, I talk about how grasping, obsessing, and over‑efforting weaken magic. The same is true for inner work. When you soften and “hold it lightly,” the deep mind responds more readily. People often find manifestations, insights, and emotional healing unfold more organically, with less burnout.

• Gentle, repeatable practice
  Because “try softer” feels kind and sustainable, you’re more likely to practice consistently. Practice, not perfection, is where the power is. A softer approach makes that practice something you can actually live with every day, not just visit occasionally when you have lots of willpower.

In short, my method doesn’t fight the ego with more ego. It undercuts it by relaxing, inviting, and allowing, which tends to open inner power and peace more reliably than pushing or forcing.

Would you like a simple “try softer” exercise you can test against your current mindfulness routine?