Question
How does Brian D Smith’s approach redefine the stages of grief?
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Answer
Brian’s work starts from this: grief is not a problem to fix or a ladder of stages to climb. It is a lifelong relationship with someone you love and with your own heart.
Rather than “denial–anger–bargaining–depression–acceptance” as a rigid path, the focus is on:
- Allowing all emotions, including tears, as healthy and healing
- Rejecting spiritual bypass (“I shouldn’t hurt if I have faith”)
- Integrating the loss into your life so you can both grieve and grow
- Staying connected with your person, not “moving on” from them
- Using practical tools (his GEMS: Gratitude, Exercise/Sleep, Mindfulness, Self-care) to support your nervous system and daily functioning
The “stage” that matters most in this reframing is: “How do I live with this love and this pain, today, in a way that is gentle and sustainable?”
Would you like a side‑by‑side comparison of Kübler‑Ross’s stages and this more relational model?
