How does Hilary Erickson handle lying in parenting strategies?

When I talk about lying on the podcast, I really try to zoom out and see it as data rather than a moral emergency. If a child lies “for the 57th time,” I see that as a lagging skill: something they’re still learning, not proof that there’s something wrong with them or with me as a parent.

I try to:

1. Calm down first and process my own anger or shame before I respond
2. Ask what’s causing the behavior instead of jumping straight to punishment
3. Treat it as a teaching opportunity later, when everyone is calm, instead of in the heat of the moment

That way, I’m focusing on coaching and problem-solving rather than just reacting.

Is there a specific lying situation you’re dealing with right now?