Log inSign up free
Features
BlogFAQ
Log in

Question

What are the core techniques used by Brian D Smith to facilitate healing through storytelling and forgiveness?

Updated March 15, 20263 min read

1 answer · 0 votes

Brian D Smithhealingstorytellingforgivenesstechniques

Answer

From Brian D Smith

0 votes

I focus on a small set of simple, repeatable moves that go deep over time. Here are the big ones I use around storytelling and forgiveness:

  1. Owning and reframing the story
    1. Helping you “tell the story straight” first: what happened, what it cost, how it feels, without sugarcoating.
    2. Then gently exploring alternative meanings: from “This was pointless cruelty” toward “This is horrific and I’m still in relationship with my person, and I’m growing around this pain.”
  2. Continuing bonds storytelling
    1. Inviting you to speak to your loved one, write to them, or tell their story as if they’re still an active part of your life.
    2. Looking for “threads” of connection—signs, memories, values, synchronicities—and weaving those into a new narrative: love didn’t end, the form of the relationship changed.
  3. Witnessing instead of fixing
    1. I ask questions that let your story breathe: “What hurts most right now?”, “What’s the part no one else seems to get?”
    2. Being fully present, not rushing to silver linings. Feeling seen is often the first layer of healing.
  4. GEMS framework woven into the story
    1. Gratitude: finding tiny, honest gratitudes inside your story (not forced positivity).
    2. Exercise/Sleep and Mindfulness: using the body and breath to regulate enough that you can even touch the story safely.
    3. Self-care: normalizing boundaries and rest so your nervous system isn’t flooded every time you revisit your narrative.

On forgiveness, I treat it as a long, layered process—not a moral obligation or a deadline:

  1. Separating forgiveness from approval or forgetting

    1. Teaching that forgiveness doesn’t mean “it’s OK” or “I’m over it.” It’s about loosening the grip of resentment on your nervous system.
    2. We work with language like: “I may never be okay with what happened, but I’m open to being less controlled by it.”

  2. Parts-work style conversations

    1. Exploring the different “parts” of you: the angry part, the devastated part, the protective part that vows “never again.”
    2. Letting each part speak in writing or out loud, so forgiveness isn’t forced; it emerges as safety and understanding grow.

  3. Self-forgiveness first

    1. So many grieving parents and partners carry guilt: “I should have… I could have…”
    2. I guide exercises where you speak to your younger self from a wiser, kinder place, explaining the limits and pressures you were under. That begins to soften the inner critic.

  4. Spiritual perspective, grounded in reason

    1. I approach forgiveness through the lens that we are spiritual beings having a human experience.
    2. That means zooming out: this lifetime is a chapter, not the whole book; death is a transition; relationships continue beyond the body. From that wider frame, some people find it easier to release certain tight, painful narratives about blame.

  5. Micro-forgiveness practices

    1. Short, repeatable phrases like, “Today I’m willing to carry this 1% less,” instead of “I forgive you completely.”
    2. Pairing these with breathwork or mindfulness so the body feels the shift, not just the intellect.

Underneath all of this is one core belief: love never dies, and neither do you. Storytelling and forgiveness are simply tools to help your human heart catch up with that deeper truth.

Is there a particular relationship or situation you’re hoping to work through with storytelling or forgiveness?