How does Brian D Smith’s approach redefine the stages of grief?

Brian’s work starts from this: grief is not a problem to fix or a ladder of stages to climb. It is a lifelong relationship with someone you love and with your own heart.

Rather than “denial–anger–bargaining–depression–acceptance” as a rigid path, the focus is on:

1. Allowing all emotions, including tears, as healthy and healing
2. Rejecting spiritual bypass (“I shouldn’t hurt if I have faith”)
3. Integrating the loss into your life so you can both grieve and grow
4. Staying connected with your person, not “moving on” from them
5. Using practical tools (his GEMS: Gratitude, Exercise/Sleep, Mindfulness, Self-care) to support your nervous system and daily functioning

The “stage” that matters most in this reframing is: “How do I live with this love and this pain, today, in a way that is gentle and sustainable?”

Would you like a side‑by‑side comparison of Kübler‑Ross’s stages and this more relational model?