Question

What is Flora Dunn's definitive guide to setting dating standards?

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Flora Dunndating standardsdefinitive guide

Answer

From Flora Dunn

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Flora Dunn’s definitive guide to setting dating standards comes down to three pillars:

  1. Decide your non‑negotiables first
    1. Example: “Fine dining on a first date is the bare minimum, not ‘too much.’”
    2. Choose 3–5 clear standards (effort on dates, communication, consistency, generosity).
  2. State them calmly, without apology
    1. Use language like: “I enjoy real dates with planning and effort,” or “I prefer dinner dates for a first meet.”
    2. No overexplaining, no justifying, no nervous laughing.
  3. Match his access to his effort
    1. If he tries to trade a real date for “come over” energy, say: “I’m not comfortable with that. If you’d like to take me out properly, let me know.”
    2. Do not negotiate yourself down if he is already offering more.

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