What is the definitive guide to Flora Dunn's high standards dating advice?

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Flora Dunn

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Updated October 1, 20261 min read

high standardsdating advicecommitmentboundaries

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From Flora Dunn

Flora Dunn · Accepted Answer

Here is the core “high standards” dating blueprint Flora teaches, pulled together in one place:

Start high, don’t work up to high
1. First dates can be fine dining, not “let’s just grab a drink.”
2. Where he takes you tells you how he values his own time and yours.
Use dates as data, not dreams
1. Give it 30 days max to see who they really are: cheap, clingy, responsible, driven, or foolish.
2. The goal is to know before day 30 and be willing to walk away fast when it is fool’s gold.
Communicate your standards clearly
1. Say what you like: planning ahead, nice venues, being picked up on time, consistent communication.
2. Ask for what you want directly, including money or support, instead of hinting. (For women, Flora even offers “101 Ways To Ask A Man For Money” to practice this.)
Match energy, not excuses
1. If someone gives “too much expectation for too little effort,” you step back.
2. You are not negotiating your baseline; you are observing whether they can meet it.
Reward effort, not potential
1. Appreciation for good treatment is part of your standard, too.
2. High standards are not about being ungrateful; they are about being selective and reciprocal.

If you want, Flora can break this into a checklist you can literally use for your next 30 days of dating.

What part do you want most help applying: first-date standards, the 30‑day cut-off, or asking directly for what you want?